My life is not long, we know this is true
So why not allow your snatch to screwed?

Why not allow your twatto get fucked
By a schlong in my slacks that loves to shoot muck?

Maybe you like your tits to get porked
Your asS to get humped, or your mouth to get corked?

My cock doesn't care which desire you choose
He don't give a fuck, he has nothing to lose

Any one of these holes you may select
Will suit him just fine, do you take cash or check?

I've got either one, so please tell me the fee
Because I'm sick of my prick just producing pee pee

I want to stand up as hard as a stone
So both of my balls can butter your scone

Because I truly believe deep down in my heart
That when my pork starts to fuck you, your pussy will fart

When my dong starts to duke you, your doog'n will sing
Every song ever written by sting

After my schlong feels your snatch full of sap
We'll fuck on that tiny crack that makes -- crap

We'll screw hump that slat that squeezes out shit
While my booger flicking fingers, fiddle your clit

Then I'll dong duke your mouth while watching dirty dyke porn
Because your mouth ain't worth shit unless it's blowing my horn

Your cunt ain't worth fuck, unless it's taking my dong
And your ass ain't worth jack, unless it's plugged with my schlong

And here's another fact of this life you must learn:
If you've got a hot pussy, I've got cock meat to burn

Because you make my balls horny babe, you know I can't lie
I wanna shoot a scoop or two of schlong sherbert on your pie

I want to take a bite of bush and get a trap full of hair
Or you can shit down my schlong crack, I don't even care

You can fart in my face or wipe your ass on my prick
Blow your boogie on my balls or just rent us a flick

Comedy, Drama, I don't give a fuck
As long as my old senior sausage gets sucked

Action, Sci-fi, who gives a shit?
As long you let me blow a load on your clit

As long as you let me shoot a wad on your jugs
Pour some coffee in your little cunt mug

I'll pour some schlong soda in your little snatch glass
While I cornhole your hiney and potato your ass

I'll count every crevice on your cutey pie cunt
While attempting an evil knievel bike stunt

Then I'll toast breakfast tarts that I'll top of with grits
Then I'll break out the sewing machine and make knits

Then I'll kick of my shoes and put both of my feet
Inside your twat, while I wack off my meat

Then you'll kneel down and beg me to beat off my balls
While we shop for sheepskin seat covers inside the mall

'Cause there ain't nothing finer in this picture perfect life
Then to hand bang your bone in the food court of strife

I wish we could fuck in a popcorn machine
They wouldn't have to add butter, if you know what I mean

All they'd have to do is add a tad bit of salt
Then we'll watch CourtTV and judge for ourself who's at fault

So I don't need no law whore to tell me what's wrong
I've two good eyes, actually three if you count my old dong

Now here's something I've never told any other fuck
Not only do I choke my chicken, but I strangle my duck

I poo on my peter so the hole will explode
Then I'll flush five falaffels down the commode

I'll suck on your clit 'till my cock hocks up spit
I'll teach you tie your shoes with your tits

Wait just a minute, that reminds me, my love
Have you ever pulled turds out by hand without gloves?

I have, it sure makes your fingers fucking stink
But anyway I'm so glad that I am your shrink